


King of Wishful Thinking

by dangerrx



Series: King of Wishful Thinking [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4950694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangerrx/pseuds/dangerrx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was ready to get married but he wasn't too keen on the thought of the wedding night. It was because of his asexuality, his fiancee-hopeful broke it off with him before he could pop the question. Castiel's friends wanted him to move on, be happy, and they hope a new relationship is the best way to get over his last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	King of Wishful Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, so if you see any mistakes feel free to let me know! I've been working on this on and off for a *long* while, honestly, and it kind of stemmed from a ficlet I wrote on tumblr.

The ring was as close to perfect as Castiel had ever encountered. A simple white gold band with a single diamond—princess-cut, the jeweler assured Castiel, which sounded auspicious enough. Meg hassled every salesperson they encountered, trying on rings and claiming them not shiny enough, but it was Castiel who ultimately chose the ring.

"I do not understand why you have to be so mean," Castiel said.

Meg shrugged, saying, "This is all for Daphne, right?"

"Yes."

“And you want the best for her, right?”

“Of course.”

"I'm just looking out for you, Cas."

Castiel, touched my Meg’s sincerity, smiled, "Thanks."

"So why now?" Meg asked.

"What?"

"Why do you want to marry Daphne now? You two have been together for half a decade. Is marriage really gonna change anything?"

Marriage was something Castiel debated for months. He loved Daphne, he knew that much, of course. He agreed with Meg that marriage would not change anything between him and Daphne. Before they began dating, he'd told Daphne he was “saving himself” for marriage. At times, Castiel thought Daphne didn't entirely believe him, but she respected his wish they remain celibate. After six years together, Castiel had a stable job working for the city, he had a house. He had been looking into getting a pet. He had to get over being selfish with his virginity.

"I believe it's time for me to settle down with someone whom I can share everything with and give everything to."

Meg nodded, "That's sickly sweet, Cas. Thanks for that."

The rest of Castiel's afternoon following his discovery was uneventful, but his spirits remained high with the thought of having found a ring that would capture how he felt about Daphne. The more he thought about marriage, the more enthused he became. He had slight nerves at the thought of the wedding night, but planned on gifting Daphne a respectable honeymoon that would hopefully make up for Castiel's undoubtedly amateur performance in bed. It would take Castiel and Daphne at least a year to plan the wedding, so he had that time to mentally prepare.

After work, Castiel drove to a small Cajun restaurant downtown. Castiel and Daphne had a standing date there every Wednesdays. The restaurant had dim lighting with a display of cupcakes at the counter and framed articles boasting the quality of the restaurant’s food lining the walls. The owners and waiters came to recognize Castiel and Daphne, and the two spent every anniversary there. Castiel was thinking about making a deal with the owners to shut the restaurant down for an evening so Castiel can propose.

When, Daphne arrived, she immediately sought out Castiel at their usual table. Her smile was strained when she sat down in their booth.

"Are you all right?" Castiel asked.

Daphne nodded. She asked, "Did you order for me?"

"No," Castiel said.

"Okay, good."

The waiter came by, but before Castiel could place an order, Daphne said, "I don't think we're ready just yet."

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked when the waiter left.

"Castiel," Daphne sighed. "I think we need to talk. About us."

Castiel nodded, "All right."

Castiel listened patiently as Daphne explained their relationship wasn't working out. She said everything she read when she looked up solutions to their relationship-problems suggested help in the bedroom. She initially put up with Castiel's lack of intimacy, but it became too much for her.

"We don't even live in the same house, Castiel," Daphne said.

"But I..."

Daphne waited for Castiel to finish, sad eyes focused on Castiel.

Castiel said, "I was thinking about getting us a pet."

"I've been seeing someone else," Daphne said quietly. "I'm sorry Castiel."

Castiel watched Daphne go and convinced himself it was for the best.

\---

"She _what_?"

Castiel sighed. He waited until they were having lunch at the next day to tell Meg about his breakup. She couldn't afford to cause a scene outside city hall.

"It hasn't been fair of me to withhold--" Castiel looked around. The food court was nearly empty, and there were no children nearby. He whispered, " _Sex_ from her."

Meg rolled her eyes, "Cas, if she really loved you, that wouldn't be an issue."

Castiel wanted to push, but if he'd learned anything from their years of friendship, it was being able to recognize the muted fury in Meg's eyes. He prayed for anyone who was unfortunate enough to ask anything of her at work that afternoon.

That weekend, Meg took Castiel out, proclaiming the faster Castiel found a rebound, the faster he would get over Daphne. Castiel didn't see how he could distract himself with another relationship, especially when the perfect engagement ring mocked him from where he kept it in his bedside drawer, but one of his biggest foibles was humoring Meg's wishes.

Meg tried taking him to a club first where she took off with some of her other friends as soon as they walked in. Castiel couldn't hear himself think over the music and none of the drinks appealed to him. Despite his best efforts to keep an enthusiastic demeanor, Meg found him sulking at a table by the entrance.

"You haven't even touched your...what is that?"

Castiel strained to hear Meg over the noise in the club. He looked down at the drink.

He said, "Peach margarita. I was told it would help cheer me. I hate it."

Castiel could barely make out Meg's laugh. Meg grabbed Castiel's wrist and tugged.

"You better appreciate that I wasted this hot outfit for you, Clarence," she said.

From there, Meg drove them to the outskirts of town to a bar Castiel once worked at, the Colt. It was a dingy little place mostly visited by truckers who found themselves driving through the small town, but there were the occasional regulars. There was darts and pool and a dispenser of novelty condoms in the men's restroom. Meg always complained about the floors, insisting they were sticky, and the smoke that lingered in the air. Castiel often visited by himself whenever Dean, one of the bartenders, invited him back.

Meg couldn't understand how Dean could want to be in the Colt, let alone on his day off, but Dean enjoyed the familiarity of his second home. The consideration of Meg prompting their relocation was not lost on Castiel. His state must have been sadder than he believed he projected.

As the Colt wasn't the hottest hangout for people below the age of fifty, there was scarcely any clientele when they entered. Meg led them straight to the bar where Dean was leaning against the counter, back to the entrance, watching the TV mounted to the wall by the shelf. The jukebox was playing Kiss and the handful of men and women in the bar were smoking in a corner. When they reached the bar, Castiel saw the TV set to an old baseball game.

"Hey, Winchester," Meg greeted.

Meg and Castiel sat at the bar, Meg pulling down the bottom of her short dress as she adjusted herself on the stool. Through the mirror behind the alcohol bottles, Castiel caught Dean rolling his eyes.

"Meg. Always a pleasure," Dean turned.

Meg smirked. She ordered a Heineken for herself--mostly, Castiel believed, to get another eye roll from Dean--and a shot and beer for Castiel.

Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel.

"What's the occasion?" he asked.

"Our buddy Cas here is a free man," Meg patted Castiel on the shoulder.

Catching quickly, Dean stood straight.

"Shit, Cas. You okay?"

"I'll be fine," Castiel said, focusing his attention on the TV.

He caught Dean sharing a look with Meg before getting the drinks. Meg rubbed Castiel's shoulder.

"He'll be fine," Meg agreed.

Castiel drank what was offered to him, Dean saying it was on the house. Meg steadily drank her own beer and commented on Dean’s lack of fashion sense. Castiel watched the baseball game, not offering anything to the conversation and not bothering to read the subtitles on the screen.

Eventually, Dean replaced Meg's drink with a Blue Moon and said, "Humor me?"

Meg took a small sip, placed the bottle back on the bar and said, "Disgusting."

She hopped off the stool and pushed down her dress. She pushed up her breasts and asked, "How do I look?"

Dean asked, "You're not going to try and con my customers are you?"

She looked down and pushed her breasts together, effectively enhancing her cleavage. Castiel nodded his approval. Meg shrugged, unrepentant, and sashayed away from the bar.

"That woman is gonna get me fired one of these days," Dean shook his head. "So what happened, Cas? Last I heard you found the perfect ring."

Castiel sighed. It was inevitable he'd have to explain his break up again, especially to Dean whom he considered one of his best friends, but he’d been reliving that moment for three days. The more he festered on the breakup, the more ashamed he became of his resistance to sex. Castiel hadn’t disclosed to Dean the extent of his virginity, but Dean had known Castiel and Daphne's relationship was chaste. Dean listened as Castiel told him about Daphne's beau.

"Dick move," Dean muttered, taking a drink from Meg’s beer.

Ruffled, Castiel said, "Her feelings are valid, Dean. How long would you last with someone if no sex was involved?"

"That's different," Dean said quickly. "You told Daphne your beliefs and she agreed with them before she started dating you."

Castiel shook his head slowly. "Six years is still a long time."

Dean snorted, "You're telling me."

Meg returned not long later as Dean was in the middle of telling Castiel about his brother’s visit sometime in the coming week. Meg took the drink from Dean's hand and sat beside Castiel.

"Did you make any money?" Castiel asked.

"Didn't want ol' green eyes here to get fired," she whispered in Castiel's ear.

"What?" Dean asked. "What did she say, Cas? I know she said something about me."

Dean and Meg continued ribbing one another as the night progressed, even as the crowd in the bar grew. Castiel warmed, knowing their distracting commentary was partly for his benefit. Castiel drove Meg home, listening indulgently as she made fun of Dean's pretentious resistance to foreign beers.

\---

One by one, the people at Castiel’s office learned about his breakup. He was met with a multitude of sympathetic platitudes, despite his insistence he was fine. He was beyond relieved by the end of the week when the watercooler conversations had switched over to Kathy from HR’s supposed breast implants. He had hoped Meg would want to go out during the week, but because of her lengthy lunches the previous week, her boss was "riding her ass like a damn monkey."

Castiel jumped at the chance of getting out of his house Friday evening when Dean invited Castiel to the Colt to meet Dean's brother. Sam recently graduated law school and spent the spring looking for jobs in California. His prospects were abysmal and he decided to take the last of his savings back home. He hoped to add more to his savings before returning to California. When Castiel worked with Dean, he heard a lot about Sam, and he was looking forward to meeting the man.

"Hey, man," Dean said, clapping Castiel on the shoulder. He pointed Castiel to the man sitting across him at the table. "Cas, this is my brother. Sammy, this is my good friend Cas."

Sam was quieter than Dean but quick and sparing with his wit. Castiel could see the subtle similarities in the Winchesters' personalities, and he had never seen Dean as comfortable as he was there, talking with Sam. Sam and Dean had different opinions about how Dean chose to make a living, which Dean said had often been the basis for arguments between the two brothers. Dean sardonically asked Sam how his employment options were panning out.

Sam let out a deep sigh, gritted out, "I've been looking around town."

Dean informed Castiel Sam was to work at the Colt for the time being.

"Just until I get my bearings," Sam said.

At that moment, one of the Colt’s bartenders, Casey, stepped up to their table.

“Hey Cas,” she nodded. “Heard about Daphne. Sorry.”

Castiel shook his head, “I appreciate that.”

Casey turned to Dean, “Hey, there’s a delivery guy on the phone who says those cases of Guinness won’t be here on time. Think you can use your charms to convince him otherwise?”

Dean huffed, getting up from his seat, “I’ll be back in a second fellas, gotta take care of this.”

Sam and Castiel watched Dean follow Casey to the back of the bar.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed about, living with Dean,” Castiel said.

Sam looked to Castiel and gave a slight smile. It was the first thing he said directly to Sam. His relationship with Dean hung at the balance of what Dean’s little brother thought of him.

Sam said, "The thing about Dean is... He's always been there for me, always watching out for me. And I hate not being able to give back."

"You are giving back," Castiel said. "I've never seen Dean happier than he is when he talks about you. Having you here with him has lifted his spirits."

Sam's modesty prevented him from agreeing, but Castiel caught the small smile Sam tried hiding.

\---

Castiel attempted returning to the dating scene, but found it difficult after coming out of relationship that lasted as long as it had. He had trouble making small talk and never could quite figure out where to place his hands on his dates. Dean paraded a multitude of women Castiel’s way, though Castiel could never find it in himself to spare a second glance to the women of the bar, whom were either truckers just stopping by and/or nearly twenty years Castiel’s senior.

“Dean, why don’t you introduce him to other women?” Sam suggested one slow night at the Colt after Castiel declined a drinking challenge by one of Dean’s prospects.

“I know you have a number for that girl playing pool with the lower back tattoo. And I know you’re never going to use it.”

Sam sent a wink Castiel’s way at the last comment. Castiel could not quite understand Sam’s signal, but knowing it was at Dean’s expense had Castiel taking a swig from his soda to keep from grinning.

“Ain’t you got lemons to cut, Sammy?” Dean asked testily.

Sam sighed and headed back to the bar, but not before shooting a conspiratorial grin to Castiel.

“Dean has no idea what he’s doing,” Meg said. “When was the last time you saw him on a date?”

Castiel acknowledged it had been a while since he last heard Dean boasting about finding someone to spend the night with. It didn’t appear to stop Dean from occasionally spritzing the special cologne Castiel gifted him and donning outfits he claimed were all for the benefits of the fairer sex.

Meg introduced Cas to some of her friends, but they were too rambunctious for Castiel’s taste. Castiel wanted to spend time with someone quieter who wouldn’t interrupt Castiel as he spoke. He’d developed a habit of calling Sam after every unsuccessful date. He tried bemoaning to his other friends, but after one too many complaints, Dean’s hurt feelings had him lashing out, calling Castiel ungrateful, as was a similar case with Meg, who pronounced Castiel “undateable.” The two jointly invited him for lunch where they apologized for their childish behavior.

“We really just want you to be happy,” Meg said.

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean added with an encouraging smile.

Castiel accepted their apologies and begrudgingly accepted a date with one of Meg’s hellish friends. He had the afternoon to kill before his date, so he called Sam up to ask if he would join Castiel at the local pet store. Although Daphne never lived with him, Castiel felt his house lonelier than usual.

The cockatiels looked cute, but Castiel didn’t think he could live with something so loud. He allowed Sam to offer his limited knowledge of pets, but Castiel voted against a dog or a cat. Castiel expressed his interest in guinea pigs, which Sam said was a fair choice.

“They mean well, I know, but I am not interested in whoever they’ve shown me. Perhaps Meg is right. Perhaps there is something wrong with me.”

“Cas, no.”

Sam stopped in the middle of the fish tanks and turned to put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re not asking your dates to quit their job for you, or, or, run away and join a cult together. Hell, you’re not even expecting them to laugh at every one of your jokes.”

“Not everyone understands my humor,” Castiel conceded.

Sam smiled, “Don’t you dare believe there’s anything wrong with you. Someone will most definitely come around and show you the care you deserve. Just…give it time, okay?”

Sam squeezed Castiel’s shoulder. Thus far, Sam had given Castiel the better of all the dating advice he had received. His coworkers wanted him to go for broke, saying there was no time like the present, but Sam’s unrelenting faith put Castiel at ease. Castiel nodded, returning Sam’s smile.

“Now,” Sam said, reaching to grab Castiel’s hand.

He lead them around the fish, past the reptiles, and over to the guinea pig cages.

“Do you want an orange or a white one?”

\---

The first thing Castiel did upon watching his latest date's car turn the corner was dial Sam’s number.

"Hey, Cas, what's up?" Sam answered.

"My date was unsuccessful," Castiel said.

Sam sucked in a breath and said, "Hold on a minute."

Castiel walked to his car and sat inside. On the other end of the phone, he could hear Sam talking to Dean followed by the sound of a door closing.

"Hello?"

"Hello," Castiel replied.

Sam laughed, "So what happened?"

Castiel sighed deeply, feeling like all he had been doing recently was sighing about dates. He began telling Sam about his date's mispronunciation of his name and insistence to refer to Castiel as "Caz." Castiel continued to regale Sam about the helpful hints his date gave him to be a better person, starting by criticizing Castiel's haircut.

"I like your haircut," Sam said.

"He said it was too long. I can't imagine what he'd say if he saw you. "

Castiel said the date only got worse when Castiel ordered his entree. His date was a vegetarian and berated Castiel for hating animals.

"Cas, that's stupid. You love animals. You have Gillian."

"That's what I told him, but apparently owning an animal is restricting it access from its rights as a living creature."

Sam's answering groan dissolved into slight laughter.

By the end of the night, Castiel's date told him working for the city was a waste of time better spent working to rid the world of ignorance.

Sam asked, "Uh-huh, and what does he do?"

"He works PR for a daycare that almost got shut down a year ago for negligence."

"You're kidding me."

"I'm afraid not."

"Man, Cas, I'm sorry you had to sit and listen to that ass."

Castiel hummed, "It wasn't bad in the end. He did pay for my steak."

"Well, I'm still sorry you had such a crappy date, Cas."

"It's all right. I also called to let you know Meg invited me to go swimming tomorrow night. She said she wouldn't mind having you and Dean go as well."

Castiel hesitated before adding, "Would you like to?"

"Yeah, of course we'll go.”

"Good," Castiel said.

"All right, I'll see you tomorrow, Cas. Be safe driving home. Good night."

"Mm-hmm, good night, Sam."

Castiel drove home with a smile.

\---

Meg warned them their presence might attract unwanted company in the form of her neighbor’s three kids. To stave a bit of her probable-headache, Meg ensured they took a shot of tequila before going out to her apartment’s pool. Castiel didn’t at all think it helped in avoiding children, taking foam pool noodles and a beach ball, but Dean argued pools were no fun otherwise.

The sun had nearly set when they stepped outside. Sam and Dean rushed each other to the pool, both jumping in and causing an eruption of water to cascade out the pool.

Meg shook her head and lamented to Castiel, “ _Boys_.”

Meg set up the bottle of tequila amongst their towels on the poolside where she and Castiel watched Sam and Dean race across the length of the pool. Meg groaned when Castiel asked her about work, and she spent half an hour complaining about her boss. She asked Castiel about his guinea pig, saying she was saddened he hadn’t invited her to pick a pet.

“I’m a natural with animals,” she said.

“Snakes, maybe,” Dean called out from the pool.

Meg threw the beach ball toward Dean’s head, but it got caught in the wind and floated before landing a foot away from Dean.

Meg said, “I don’t know how that was supposed to be an insult, but I’m sure it was.”

Dean tried unsuccessfully to get the other three to agree to a game of chicken, but they agreed to play Marco Polo, where they left Dean alone in the pool. Sam couldn’t hold back his laughter for long, and Dean caught him, crowing, “Fish out of water!”

They traded off the bottle of tequila, though Castiel begged off after a second shot. Meg excused herself after they emptied half the bottle, complaining her fingers were pruney. Dean followed her inside with the excuse of needing a shower before leaving, saying he wanted to sleep in the next day. Meg sneered but allowed Dean to use the shower with the threat of castration if he got Meg's carpet wet. She told Sam and Castiel to keep the volume low because her complex had a rule about non-residents using the pool, and Meg was nothing if not an upstanding resident.

Sam continued to lazily swim laps while Castiel sat on the steps of the pool, water up to his navel. He kicked his feet below the water and whenever Sam swam back from one end of the pool, he gently tugged at Castiel's ankles.

"When I was a kid, I would pretend I was a mermaid," Castiel said. "I used to press my legs together and try to keep them together when I swam under water. I can't remember how many times I almost drowned because I refused to separate my legs and kick."

Castiel never told anyone that in his adult life that, he almost forgot about it, and he couldn’t say what possessed him to tell Sam.

Sam pushed himself out of the water and sat beside Castiel on the steps. The water from his hair ran down his shoulders and chest, droplets reflecting the white lights in the pool.

Sam said, "One time, when I was a kid, I was invited to a pool party and I didn't know how to swim. Dean told me not to go in the deep end, but I thought, 'Swimming can't be that hard.'"

Sam laughed, "I went underwater twice before I told my friend's mom I was feeling sick and had to go home."

"I think you're an excellent swimmer," Castiel said.

Sam smiled shyly. He bumped his shoulder against Castiel's.

"It took me fifteen years, but I think I do all right," Sam said. "Why a mermaid?"

Castiel shrugged, accidentally bumping back into Sam. He didn't mind Sam's proximity.

"My parents had a pool and my mother would often swim as a way of exercise. Her movements were fluid and mesmerizing. I liked to think she might have been a mermaid before she married my dad. I imagined one day she would tell me I could be a mermaid, too."

Sam hooked his ankle to Castiel's. "That's really cute, Cas."

"Thank you?" Castiel wasn't accustomed to anyone saying anything about him was cute.

Sam edged closer, "You're really cute Cas."

Castiel’s breath caught in his throat as he said, "Oh."

Sam maintained his focus on Castiel, a smile lightly gracing his face. In conversation, Castiel always had Sam’s undivided attention, but this…

It had been a long time since Castiel felt he warranted such attention, much longer than he cared to admit to himself. He hadn’t realized how ardently he craved it.

"Cas,” Sam breathed. “Is it okay if... Can I...?"

Castiel nodded hurriedly, "Yes, Sam. Yes."

Castiel could smell the chlorine in Sam's hair and on his skin. Sam's hand was clammy where it cupped Castiel's jaw. Castiel anticipated Sam and licked his lips, but he underestimated how close Sam was and licked Sam's lips as well. Sam huffed out a laugh and rubbed his nose against Castiel's before kissing him. There was little pressure from Sam, the kiss cautious. Castiel spurred Sam, placing his hand over Sam’s on his jaw. Castiel heard the water ripple as Sam adjusted his position, pulling away for a moment before returning to capture Castiel’s bottom lip.

Sam parted, leaving Castiel slightly dizzy. Castiel had just kissed his best friend’s brother, and he couldn’t find it in him to regret it.

Sam rubbed his nose against Castiel once more, and Castiel squeezed Sam’s hand. They continued holding hands, arms stretching as Sam lowered himself into the pool, down the stairs, and slowly let the water levitate him.

Sam exhaled deeply, “So. Cas. Thoughts?”

Castiel pretended to consider Sam’s question. He said, “Quite enjoyable. Yourself?”

Sam laughed heartily. He floated on his back, keeping his gaze on Castiel.

“Perfect,” Sam said. He bit his bottom lip before saying, “Tell me more about being a mermaid.”

“What else would you like to know?”

\---

With Meg’s lights off and Dean not answering his phone, Castiel and Sam went to Castiel’s house where Sam showered and borrowed a pair of Castiel’s sweatpants and a t-shirt. The clothes stretched over Sam’s larger frame, but Sam assured Castiel he didn’t mind.

“You can sleep in the guest bedroom,” Castiel offered.

“Thanks, Cas,” Sam said.

He pulled at the bottom of Castiel’s old UNL shirt where it exposed a bit of Sam’s stomach. Castiel didn’t mind, already having seen Sam in the pool, but he supposed it was a personal comfort. Castiel promised to drop Sam off at Dean’s the next morning. As Castiel began down the hall to his own bedroom, Sam’s hand on his wrist stopped him. Sam slid his fingers down to interlock in Castiel’s hand and pulled Castiel to him.

Castiel closed his eyes, expecting a kiss, but Sam pressed his cheek to Castiel’s and whispered in Castiel’s ear, “Good night, Cas.”

Castiel should have been elated—and he was!—but he fretted that night over a new relationship. It was what he had been working up to, wasn’t it? Now that he had reached that point, the beginnings of a relationship, he was uncertain. He never considered a next step, and he couldn’t help but consider the possibility that the problems he had while with Daphne would be prevalent in his relationship with Sam.

Sam wasn’t overtly sexual, but Castiel knew Sam liked sex. Dean said the first time Sam had sex was after his high school graduation, and Sam said he lived with a girlfriend in college. Dean made it abundantly clear all the people he talked in Sam’s past were sexual partners, and if that hadn’t convinced Castiel, Sam’s passing mention of a friend-with-benefits in college cemented the idea of Sam’s interest.

Castiel didn’t want to disappoint Sam.

Castiel drove Sam to Dean’s in the morning, Sam’s hand resting atop Castiel’s hand in the space between them. When the house was in view, Sam pulled away. Castiel felt concern emanate off Sam. Sam stepped out of the car and walked around to lean inside Castiel’s window.

“Are we…okay? I didn’t get anything wrong, did I?” Sam asked.

Castiel shook his head, “No, no, we are good, Sam. I meant what I said, about our kissing being enjoyable.”

Sam ducked his head, “Okay.”

“I have not been in a relationship since Daphne, as you know, and I am a little nervous.”

Sam bit his bottom lip, considered this.

“Oh. Well, we can take things slow. I won’t rush you or force you to do anything, you don’t want, okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel said.

He laid his hand on Sam’s and mustered up what he hoped was a self-assured face. Sam promised to call Castiel later that night during the break in his shift at the Colt.

There was nothing at home for Castiel other than anxiety as he waited for the call, so he drove to Meg’s apartment.

After knocking at the door, Castiel heard Meg ask, “Did you forget something?”

Meg answered wearing a short robe, which she quickly pulled tight against her body at the sight of Castiel.

“Sorry, Cas, I thought you were someone else.”

“I need to talk to you about something,” Castiel said.

Meg waved him in, telling Castiel to ignore the wine glasses on her kitchen counter. Castiel took a seat at Meg’s dining table. Meg offered Castiel breakfast, but he couldn’t wait any longer to tell Meg.

“Sam and I kissed last night.”

One of Meg’s eyebrows rose steadily, “So you bagged yourself a Winchester. I’m impressed.”

“I really like him,” Castiel said.

“Then why do you sound like he crashed your car?”

Castiel sighed, told Meg he had no plans to have sex with Sam, and he doubted Sam would be willing to forgo sex altogether. Thinking out loud, Castiel suggested holding out as long as he could and not dealing with anything sexual only until it came up.

“Cas, that’s what happened with your last relationship,” Meg gently reminded him.

Castiel waved her off, “That was different; Daphne and I shared six years together but we were not compatible where it mattered. I don’t think she liked guinea pigs. ”

Meg looked thoughtful.

“Wow, Clarence, you really are over her, aren’t you?”

“I suppose I am. I realize now it wasn’t fair of me to expect her to remain celibate, especially as I had no intention of ever sleeping with her.”

“I’m not an expert at this kind of advice, but I can see why you’d come to me and not Dean.”

Castiel cringed. Dean’s protectiveness of his brother was infamous. Castiel was not looking forward to that conversation.

Meg continued, “If you really like this kid, you need to tell him how you feel. I want you to be with someone you’re good with, and I think you’re good with Sam. Whatever you decide, I’ll be here to support you.”

“Thank you, Meg.”

\---

Working at the Colt in the early evening was the easiest job Castiel ever had. Almost no one entered the Colt before ten o'clock, so Castiel assumed Sam wouldn't be busy. Castiel was half-right in that Sam wasn't working, rather, he played darts, but Castiel would never have guessed that Sam could draw the focus of every patron in the bar.

Casey caught Castiel's eye when he walked into the Colt, and she made her way over.

"He's close to beating Dean's highest score, can you believe it? Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, just a lemon lime soda, please," Castiel said and took a seat behind the spectators.

Castiel watched Sam laugh and talk with his fans. Casey offered Castiel company, asking if he was looking for Dean. Castiel did his best to come off as casual when he said he needed to ask Sam something.

"I'll let him know you want to talk to him," Casey said, stepping away from Castiel's table.

Castiel stopped her, "It's fine, I can wait."

Casey gave Castiel a look like he was the most transparent patron she had ever tended to.

"Let him beat Dean's score first," Castiel relented.

There came a groan from the crowd around Sam some time later. Some of them clapped Sam on the back before scattering. Castiel watched Casey weave around the small crowd until she reached Sam and pointed him in Castiel’s direction.

"I assume you didn't beat your brother's score," Castiel greeted when Sam reached his booth.

Sam slid in the booth beside Castiel.

"Nah. I figure it'd be more fun if he was here to see me beat it, so I'll wait until he gets in. What's up?"

"I have been doing some thinking."

Sam bit his bottom lip. He nodded, "Okay."

"Your friendship is very important to me. I have enjoyed the time we spent together."

"Me too, Cas," Sam said softly.

"You are aware that my last relationship ended because I would not..."

Their eyes locked. Sam gave a slight nod.

"I am asexual," Castiel said. "But I would still like to pursue a relationship with you."

"Thank you for telling me," Sam said.

Castiel nodded, "I understand if you do not want a relationship if it means I will not have sex with you. I do hope we can continue being friends."

It was the most honest Castiel had been with anyone. He'd never felt comfortable in his sexuality until encountering Sam’s casual acceptance. Sam’s support gave him the courage.

Sam cleared his throat, said, "Cas. If I never receive another blowjob in my life, if no one's hands but my own will ever be on my dick..."

Castiel ducked his head to hide his blush. He didn't mind feeling embarrassed if it meant Sam smiled affectionately at him. Sam carefully nudged at Castiel's jaw with his fingertips.

"I don't care," Sam said. Sam shrugged, "I told you I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't want. I want you to be comfortable in this relationship."

Castiel asked, "Are you sure?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Seriously, Cas, I'll live. I don't know if you've noticed, but I like you, Castiel."

"I like you, too, Sam Winchester," Castiel said.

Spurred by Sam's positive response, Castiel leaned over to steal a kiss.

They were interrupted by Casey saying, "If you're not ready for Dean to find out about this now, I suggest you two separate; he gets in in a few minutes."

Sam groaned into the kiss and pulled away.

"I should go," Sam said.

"I can pick you up when you get off," Castiel offered.

"If you don't mind waiting until the middle of the night," Sam said.

"I don't mind waiting for you."

That brought a shy smile to Sam's face.

\----

Meg hosted a dinner of sushi and sake at her apartment, saying, "We are celebrating. Castiel is not as hopeless as we thought."

Castiel should have felt insulted, but he had a tipsy Sam cuddling into his side on Meg's sofa, and his focus was understandably elsewhere. Dean accepted the news that Sam and Castiel planned to date with a raised eyebrow.

He asked, "So, what, you’re just not gonna have sex again?"

"You are weirdly interested in your brother's sex life," Meg said.

" _What_? I'm just asking."

Sam laughed pushing his face into Castiel's chest, "What do you care?"

"I'm curious, okay?"

Castiel was thoughtful. "You were never interested that I was not having sex before Sam and I started dating."

"Yeah, but that was before you were not-having-sex with my little brother."

Sam brought his head up, "Believe it or not, Dean, not everything about relationships has to be about sex. I like Cas, and we like being together. Right?"

Sam's cheeks were flushed and his eyes glassy, but he focused as best he could on Castiel. Castiel's breath caught in his throat.

"Right," Castiel said.

Meg stood up, a little wobbly, "A toast! To the sickly sweet couple."

Castiel and Dean raised their glasses, and Sam attempted to raise his own, managing to spill a bit on his hand. He would thank Castiel the next morning when he realized Castiel had replaced his drink with water.


End file.
